It Brought a smile to my face as some of these are soooo true...
Men are like... place mats.They only show up when there's food on the table.Men are like... mascara.They usually run at the first sign of emotion.Men are like... bike helmets.Handy in an emergency, but otherwise just look silly.Men are like... government bonds.They take so long to mature.Men are like... parking spots.All the good ones are taken.Men are like... copiers.You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.Men are like... lava lamps.Fun to look at, but not all that bright. Men are like... bananas.The older they get, the less firm they are. Men are like... bank accounts.Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest. Men are like... high heels.They are easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.Men are like... miniskirts.If you are not careful, they'll creep up your legs.Men are like... dogs.If they can't eat it or screw it, then they just **** on it. Men are like... noodles.They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough. Men are like... Chinese food.They satisfy you, but only for a little while. Men are like... commercials.You can't believe a word they say. Men are like... blenders.You need one, but you're not quite sure why. Men are like... the weather.Nothing can be done to change either one of them. Men are like... the snowstorms.You don't know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long they'll stay. Men are like... laxatives.They irritate the poop out of you. Men are like... spray paint.One squeeze and they're all over you. Men are like... whales.They lie around most of the time, then surface briefly to spout off. Men are like... beer.They're both empty from the neck up. Men are like... tiles.Lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them forever. Men are like... tissues.You use them until they're all washed up. Men are like... chocolate mousse.It's nice to have but who needs it? Men are like... diapers.They both need to be changed and often for the same reason. Men are like... toilets.They're either engaged, dirty, or full of poop. Men are like... pets.Every girl should own one. Men are like... stray dogs.They like to run around. Men are like... diapers.They're always on your ass and full of poop. Men are like... pigeons.When you least expect it, they poop on your head. Men are like... Slinkys.They're not really good for much, but you can't help but smiling when you see one falling down the stairs. Men are like... a deck of cards.You need a Heart to love them, a Diamond to marry them, a Club to batter them, and a Spade to bury the bastards. Men are like... new cars.They're nice in the beginning but depreciate in value while the car payments remain the same. Men are like... roses.You have to watch out for the pricks. Men are like... alcohol.They're guaranteed to f@@k with your head and make you feel like hell in the morning. Men are like... extra baggage.You just don't need it. Men are like... food.They look good but you want to get rid of them once they're on your thighs. Men are like... presents.Easy to open, easy to use. Men are like... tits on a bull.Completely useless. Men are like... squirrels.What comes out of their mouth is usually nuts. Men are like... an inch of water. Really shallow and not that deep. Men are like... Romance novels.Good to pass the time but not much else. Men are like... children.Do I need to say more? Men are like... coffee.You only need it to wake up in the morning. Men are like... cell phones.You don't actually need one until the car breaks down. Men are like... hemorrhoids.A huge pain in the ass. Men are like... the comedy channel.Just for laughs. Men are like... parachutes.If they weren't there the first time you needed them, chances are you won't be needing them again. Men are like... hardwood floors.Lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for a lifetime. Men are like... dogs.Might run away but they only leave you so they can fetch another one and come back.Men are like... chocolate.Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips. Men are like... Kleenex.Soft, strong, and of course, disposable. Men are like... cars.One comes by every 10 minutes. The trick is not to get run over! Men are like... sh1ts.They're all the same with different smell. Men are like... Ken dolls.They are fun for a while and when you are tired of them, you can rip their heads off! Men are like... dogs (and women are like cats).Cats are cute, gentle, and intellegent. Dogs are stupid, obnoxious, and no matter what you do, they won't leave you alone. Men are like... pimples.They pop up unexpectedley and are hard as hell to get rid of. Men are like... golfers.It takes them a couple of tries to find the hole.