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Post Info TOPIC: Joke of the day
vickip


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RE: Joke of the day
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Some women out there can't relate to this at all, however, for the ones that do, you'll appreciate the ending...
 
 
 
Bob writes:

Dear friends:

It is important for men to remember that as women
grow older it becomes  harder for them to maintain the same
quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When men notice
this they should try not to yell.

Let me relate how I handle the situation.

When I got laid off from my consulting job and took
early retirement in March, it became necessary for my wife, Nancy, to
get a full-time job for extra income and for the health benefits
that we need. It was shortly after she started working that I noticed
that she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the
same time she gets  home from work. Although she knows how hungry
I am, she almost always says that she needs to rest for half an hour
before she starts supper. I try not to yell. Instead I tell her take
her time and just wake me when she finally gets the supper on the
table.

Whereas before, she washed the dishes as soon as we
finished eating. Now  it is not unusual for them to sit on the table
for several hours after supper.

I do what I can by reminding her several times each
evening , "The dishes aren't going to clean themselves." This seems
to help her get them done before bedtime.

Now that she is older, she seems to get tired so
much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes
she says "I don't feel  like I can make another trip down those
steps." I don't make an issue of  this. As long as she finishes up the
laundry the next evening, I am  willing to overlook it.

Not only that, unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday
lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or
toTuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or something like that, I will tell
her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.

This gives her a little more time to do some of those odd things like
shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. If I have a good day of
fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely
pace.

Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. For example she
will say, "It is really difficult to find time to pay the monthly
bills during the lunch hour." I continue to offer encouragement. I
say,"  Honey, stretch it out over two or even three days. That way you
won't  need to rush so much." I also remind her "If you missed a lunch
now and  then it wouldn't hurt you, if you know what I mean."

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest
periods. She takes a break when she is only half finished mowing the
lawn. I try  not to embarrass her when she takes these little rest
breaks. I tell her, "Fix yourself a nice glass of lemonade and sit for
a while. As long  as you're making one glass, make one for me as well
and bring it to the hammock so you can talk to me until I fall asleep."

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on
a  daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much
consideration
is easy. Many men will find it difficult. No one knows better than I do
how
frustrating women can become as they get older.

Signed,

Bob



Bob's Funeral was on Saturday, the 26th.

Nancy was acquitted on Monday, the 28th

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A cruise in the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship
sinks, and there were only 3 survivors; Damian, Darren and Deirdre.



They manage to swim to a small island. and they lived there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do



Afters several years of casual sex, all the time,
Deirdre felt absolutely horrible about what she had been
doing. She felt having sex with both Damian and Darren was so bad that she killed herself.



It was very tragic but Damian and Darren managed to
get through it and, after a while nature once more took its inevitable course.



Well, a couple more years went by and Damian and Darren began to feel absolutely horrible about what they where doing.







......... So.......











...........


 












..........They buried her



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Original Sin


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I Know The Whole Truth


At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are
hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to
blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as
he is greeted by his mother. He says, "I know the whole truth." His
mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and
greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands
him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees
the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the
whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says...........................


 


.......................


 


"Then come give your daddy a great big hug!".



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