MEN'S NAMESArran - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff. Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, well hung but very caring. Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons. Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women. Alex - cute and short but a liar and a cheat. Amir - dirty, smelly, pecker is minuscule. Andrew - gay and has a small pecker. Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain. Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of wee. Arnold - loser. Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate. Barry - lights fires, pinches girls bottoms and is well hung. Ben - funny and can be real difficult to beat at games. Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands. Brad - thinks everyone likes him...but they don't. Brandon - good looking but uses girls. Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time. Brett - world wide slut and really insensitive, women love him. Brian - mean and only thinks of himself, no he's not the Messiah he's just a very naughty boy. Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell. Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name. Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce. Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a week. Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini. Cameron - Australian Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex. Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive. Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies, no real person has that name. Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together. Chris - can't pull, will pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can use it too. Christian - very sexy and seductive. Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'. Cliff - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial. Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around. Colin - lies to women and blows up public buildings. Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines. Craig - tries to fit in - he never does. Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way. Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics. Dale - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid. Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every orifice. Darren - charming , but sleeps with men. Daryl - smells bad, has no real mates David - hotty and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence. Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter i.e. a wanker. Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick. Dennis - either very nice to girls or gay. Derek - has a great sense of humour, and blow-up doll collection. Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please. Don - dickhead. Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts. Drew - bad-arse loser who never shuts up. Duncan - hopeless ski bum, brains shot away long ago Dylan - horny $£@?!, who can't sing. Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name. Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get cos he's an pooper. Elliott - full of himself Eric - shy. Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patient. Frank - "different" - missing DNA - favours girls named Lucy. Fraser - sucks pigs dicks & swallows the lot. Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight. Gary - drug addict but willing to share. Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men. Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace. George - barman who drinks more than he serves. Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth Greame - very hard to understand, likes group sex Graham - will screw anything Grant - HORNY! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything. Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself. Harry - covers his back Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs. Hathem - smooth, but very manipulative, not to be trusted around young girls. Haydn - tries hard. Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography. Ian - really popular but knows all the girls want him...yeh right!!! Ivor - militant psychopath with homosexual tendencies. Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk. Jamie - scum of the earth. James - built like a horse. Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well. Jeff - really ugly. Jerome - gay, but very unhappy. Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is. Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on. Jack - stupid but hot, always alright. Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection. Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head. Joel - arse. John - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals. Jolyon - absolute raving homosexual. Jonathon - think he's good - he's poop. Jordan - sexy but weird in bed. Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites. Josh - full of himself, fun. Junior - hotty and totally good at football. Justin - aggravating but lovable, insecure but successful. Kain - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up. Kevin - always attracts really fit girlfriends also has a large penis, really nice to women. Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse. Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be. Kurt - can kick anyone's arse. Kyle - hornball who eats too many cornchips. Larry - cute but wannabe player with big arse. Laurey - short and funny looking. Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, weird. Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser. Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub. Liam - loud mouthed pooper. Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold. Lucas - fat loser that dates other men. Luke - seems to be sweet. Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers. Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is not his great looks, mouthy $£@?! though. Matt - the fat boy of the class, likes sweets and is full of poop. Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl. Mick - always drunk, tendency for drug abuse. Mohammed - small penis Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb. Nick - nice - can't get past the missionary position though. Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed. Oliver - likes men but is in denial. Oscar - loser. Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs. Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk. Paul - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays. Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins. Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool. Rhys - great lover but had his mind stolen by aliens a long, long time ago. Richard - can't see his feet as balls are too big Ricky - ugly ****head who everybody hates. Rikki - see above. Rob - constantly watches porn. Roy - total loser and computer genius. Rupert - arrogant tw*t who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud. Russell - likes to play in the leaves which makes him an pooper. Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind. Sam - wannabe sex machine. Scott - has serious issues. Sean - has small testicles and no friends. Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor. Shane - thinks everybody wants to sleep with him - he's a virgin. Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world. Shaun - bit of a hard $£@?!, thinks women love him. Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks balls. Spencer - loves it right up there, normally with a toilet roll and a hamster. Steve - popular and funny when looked at side-on. Stuart - droll guy with great arse and suicidal tendencies but great in bed. Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is. Toby - best blow ever. Tom - cool but can be arrogant. Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around. Travis - fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found. Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy. Troy - cute and popular. Taylor - gay. Wayne - Either a Sensitive New Age Guy, or a Caring Understanding Nineties Type. Warren - cool, homosexual guy. Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate. Will - wishes he were popular. Zach - sweet and polite and adorable. Zahid - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.
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'felt like a prisoner till i looked in your eyes and saw a million wide open doors...'